Digital Dependency Obstructing Real-Life Experience and Connection in Relationships

In this article published in the New York Times on January 9,  Jane Brody explores the importance of “moderation in our digital world.” She examines the implications of smartphone and social media proliferation relative to our physical and mental health, neurological development and personal relationships.  Digital addiction is also discussed, and three steps to help curb digital dependence are provided.

Hooked on Our Smartphones

By Jane Brody

The many men, women and children who spend their days glued to their smartphones and social media accounts might learn something from Lin-Manuel Miranda, creator of the groundbreaking megahit “Hamilton.” Asked in an interview with Delta Sky magazine when and where he finds time to be creative, Mr. Miranda, an avid reader of books and enthusiast for unfettered downtime, replied: “The good idea comes in the moment of rest. It comes in the shower. It comes when you’re doodling or playing trains with your son. ‘Hamilton’ forced me to double down on being awake to the inspirations of just living my life.”

Mr. Miranda’s observation bodes ill for the future, not just of creativity but also of healthy bodies, minds and relationships. No doubt you’ve seen the following scenarios, probably many times:

• Young couples out to dinner pull out (more…)

Attachment Style and Communication in Intimate Relationships

In this article published in the Opinion Section of the New York Times on January 7, Kate Murphy explores the importance of attachment theory relative to the quality of our relationships.  By providing a primer on attachment styles formed when we are babies and how these styles play out in our adult lives, the writer presents the idea that understanding our attachment style can help us improve how we function and communicate in our intimate relationships.

Yes, It’s Your Parents’ Fault

By Kate Murphy

We live in a culture that celebrates individualism and self-reliance, and yet we humans are an exquisitely social species, thriving in good company and suffering in isolation. More than anything else, our intimate relationships, or lack thereof, shape and define our lives.

While there have been many schools of thought to help us understand what strains and maintains human bonds, from Freudian to Gestalt, one of the most rigorously studied may be the least known to the public.

It’s called attachment theory, and there’s growing consensus about its capacity to explain and improve how we function in relationships.

Conceived more than 50 years ago by the British psychoanalyst John Bowlby and scientifically validated by an American developmental psychologist, Mary S. Ainsworth, attachment theory is now (more…)